KILL REF!
  … 10:07:52 PM 03/13/13 by Slimebeast
When I was a kid, staying at my older cousin's house, I always made sure to bring my Sega Genesis. He was in his 20s/30s, and since I wasn't into sports or music of his youth, video games and movies were pretty much all we had in common.

When we went to rent (yes, rent) some Sega games at one point, I noticed a game we might both enjoy.

Mutant League Football

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wghznH7Jtbw" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wghznH7Jtbw</a>

For me: Mutants
For him: Football

We were pretty evenly matched at the game. Basically he knew how to run the plays, and I was well-versed in throwing pixel dynamite. It wasn't long before I got the game as a birthday or Christmas present from my parents, having nearly burst while telling them how awesome it was.


FAMILY FUN.

Now that I'm a crusty old man, I play the ROM version on my Genesis emulator. Hey - It's legal since I still own both the console and the game, right? ... Right?

Update: AFTER THIS WAS POSTED I WAS ARRESTED AND DIED IN COPYRIGHT PRISON.

I'm not going to go into all the details since there are so many other places to read about the game in full. Instead, I want to explore how thoroughly I've rigged the system... especially when it comes to killing the referee.


I hate your face. You die.

Everyone in the game can die. Your players... your opponents... the Ref. Furthermore, I have yet to find a point in the game at which the Referee cannot be killed except for the ultimate ending of the playoffs, which I won't spoil.

I'm not even talking about using the "Kill Ref" option, a specific play you can make that causes all the players on the field to chase and kill the Referee. I'm talking about blowing him up like a hydrogen balloon full of pig guts through sheer skill and determination. Best of all, unlike the "Kill Ref" audible you can call, killing him the natural way has absolutely no penalty.

Also note you can control the Referee after the audible is called, enabling you to rack up penalties on the opposing team if they call for the killing and you successfully evade them.

I'm getting ahead of myself. Sorry, murder gets me excited like that.

We'll assume you already know most of the game's quirks, like choosing the right team with the right "nasty audibles", etc. (Nasty Audibles like Jetpacks, Explosive ball, Farts of Death... last one not a joke.)


How I rigged the game:

#1 - The Set-Up

You get a few options when starting a game. You'll want to turn reserves OFF and turn the difficulty-like setting up to "ANNIHILATION". That means "easiest killings" all around for everyone. I like to set rounds to 8 minutes just to amp up the score, etc.


#2 - Location, location, location

Hell Field. That's the greatest and best map for completely slaughtering the other team. Why? It has some nicely placed explosives. When stepped on, they of course kill the victim... and they leave a big ol' fire pit behind. Get good enough, and you can nudge opponents onto the mines, then into the pits.


WELCOME TO HELL... field. Want a free t-shirt?

Including the Ref...




Durr hurr hurr, pretty...

There's also a nice cluster of mines to the bottom right of the field, assuming you're starting the kickoff and haven't swapped to home team for some stupid reason. Kick the ball there, just right, and the guy going for it will be severely slowed... or he'll explode! Sometimes if you make the landing, the ball will actually be close enough to a mine or fire pit that the recieving player refuses to go get it! At that point, you can just swoop in and score an easy touchdown.

Be careful, though. This can be a double-edged sword if you're not controlling things well enough. Your players and the opposing team can form a speedy conga-line right into a fire pit, one after another, as they desperately sprint for the ball. After that, the only one left on the field is the guy who refuses to get the ball and you have to reset the game. :\

Hell Field is also nice for conversions after a goal. Run up the left side and you can get the other team hung up on the mines there.


#3 - Kill the guy on your right

I don't know why, but the game seems to prefer passing to the rightmost player when lined up before a play. If you select and move one of your team members to this fellow, then immediately bash him into bones when the play starts, the quarterback will often be left dumbfounded. From there it's an easy tackle.

This is nullified if any of the opposing team members shift position before a play. In that case, kill the dude who moved and you'll often see the same resulting paralysis.


#4 - Let the AI do its work

Nine times out of ten, if you seize control of an AI member of your own team you'll end up missing the tackle or catching the ball. Except for extreme cases where a player is stuck somehow, leave the AI alone. It's rare for it to screw up bad enough to warrant the mistakes you'll make yourself.


#5 - Use the sidelines

Okay, so it's not always easy or beneficial, but sometimes it will pay off. When returning a kick, try the sidelines once or twice to see if it's for you. Run directly to the side, then up the line. Sometimes the other team won't know where you went for just long enough to make a few extra yards. This can go well if there are obstacles you can put between yourself and the enemy. :)


Okay, you know what? That's enough of that BS.


KILLING THE REF

So you've decided to explore the hobby of Referee killing. Good for you! Here are a few simple tips and tricks you may not know about.

The Referee takes a certain amount of damage, just like any player, after which he can be killed in an explosive spray of gore and twitching limbs. Sometimes the damage meter doesn't reset right away, so you can kill Referee after Referee with the slightest touch!

Fun Fact: When a new Referee comes in, and I immediately kill him, I like to say "Welcome to the game!"

:)

...

The Ref can always be attacked if you can move.


Decidedly AFTER the play has ended...

During gameplay is the most obvious time to get a few knocks in, but did you know you can control your DEFENSE players while waiting for a play to start? Before the play begins, you can walk into and "hit" the Ref. Sometimes you can even kill him before the play begins... If you manage to do it RIGHT at the second he appears, he won't even put the ball down. This leaves your opponents to stand there stupidly as the timer ticks down to zero and they get a penalty.

Even after a field goal, you can walk offscreen and kill the Ref. You won't see it unless you do a replay, but if you know where he is it's easy to guide a player over there for a tackle.


Now! While nobody's looking!

When you kick, you can wait and see if the Ref shows up after the play, and then attack him.

After a touchdown, you can still control your players! As the scoring player does his little dance, you can rotate between players again and control them. Using this you can kill players and of course attack/kill the Ref. Sometimes if you cycle fast enough, you can even select and control an enemy.

Here's a little game you can play if you're demented and stupid like me...

Resurrect Referees. How? Well, when you kill a Ref, the next one has a different name. Since there are only so many available names, once you kill enough Referees the names will start over again. You can kill a ton of Gee Blushes... great teeming hordes of Slicky Fatses... IT IS A THING OF BEAUTY.


Note the empty crossbones...

And, of course, you can exploit little glitches here and there. Occasionally, hitting/killing the Ref before a play will render your player invisible. Sometimes the poor Ref doesn't even get the release of Death and will just hang there, frozen in eternal pain.


OWWWWWW--


--WWWWWWWWWWWWW--

If you whip the game's ass hard enough, it'll start to break in interesting ways... like this Troll who aspires to be a robot...


DO NOT CRUSH HIS DREAM. IT'S ALL HE HAS.

Why are you looking at me like that, now?

Ah, screw it. At least YOU still love me, neon-green-bikini-wearing woodchuck face girl...


How much wood would a woodchuck chuck, baby?
Commenting on this post is as simple as joining the message board!